Before heading out again on yet another long drive, I flipped the radio to the Christmas station, but they were back to playing “oldies.” I think they call them “Classics” now, so as not to upset children of the 70’s and 80’s. Tom Petty specifically.
I like Petty, always have. He’s unassuming and yet delivers. I’m almost done reading a new biography of him (a Chanukah gift from my wife). He seems like a normal dude. No rock star ego. I found out he married young and started a family before becoming famous. He began his career with a lot of talented people who would break away from their small towns and do big things. He earned the respect of his heroes. He put up with a lot of bullshit but kept it mostly bottled up. When he did emotionally erupt, it was through his lyrics and music.
I like this book very much.
And I like listening to his songs, but I miss the Christmas music.
I know it was playing for nearly a month, but I miss it.
I didn’t travel to perform as much this holiday season – a deliberate choice. I didn’t watch all of the holiday movies I wanted. We just decorated a week and a half ago, and I’m not ready to take it all down again.
I bought and wrapped gifts. We saw friends and family. We lit candles and said prayers. We baked cookies. I wrote and shared jokes…did my best to make other people happy. I took pictures of smiling people tearing away gift wrap. I smiled, but I wasn’t “here.”
I gained a lot of weight, but I couldn’t tell you how anything tasted.
I didn’t give enough. The holidays, 2015 in general…I was here, but I missed it all somehow.
I wasn’t ready for the holidays to come and go so quickly, but I’m also very happy they’re over. Time for a reset – will try to do better next time.
(If I were a stronger writer – or not in a hurry or not hearing shouting in the other room, I’d find a Petty lyric to close with, to poetically wrap everything up here. Oh well – I’ll just sit here, reveling in my abandon.)